So the completely unexpected headline of the day is that food stamp recipients should be able to use them in restaurants. Food stamps. In restaurants.
Let me take you back, back to a time and place long ago and far away. I call it the 1970s. The 1970s seem like a magical fairy land compared to the time in which we currently live. In the 1970s, people were unemployed too, not unlike today. And back then we also had a feckless president, a man not so unlike our current president in that everything he touched turned to offal. In fact, the similarities only end when you consider that the president back then seemed truly not to understand why his mojo didn't have no go. The current iteration seems perhaps to be aware that it's not going to work, but there's an ideology to satisfy come hell or high water.
Something else that was different in the 1970s was the people. Back then, you were ashamed if you were unemployed. Heck, I was unemployed for nearly a year in 1992-1993 after I got out of the USAF and it ate me up. But something happened between that time and today. Somewhere around 2000 I think, shame was lost. The United States fell for the "it's all about me" advertising drive in a way it never had before, and suddenly the only thing that had a stigma anymore was the concept of the stigma itself. And hey, why not? We had everyone from Oprah and her army of new age writers to Robert Schuller and Joel Osteen in the Sales and Marketing wing of the evangelical Church assuring us that self-esteem was of paramount importance and that we were meant to live our best life now. And hey, if that means you have to charge it, or even better, get someone else to pay for it, so what? It's all about feeling good now, damn the torpedoes!
It's taken me a long time to come around, but here I am. And here is my list of demands.
Number one: You holdouts are buying me a bigger house. This one is too small and I want a bigger yard. So you'd better give me a tractor with it.
Number two: I want free health care and a pension. Since I'm not a member of a public sector union, I don't get either. In fact, my health care is costing me so much right now that I can't afford the pension. And that ain't right, so you all need to make it right! If my neighbor is getting it for working for the government, then I wants mines!
Number three: Some of my friends have Ford F-150 pickups. I can't afford one. I think you know where this is going. Get cracking, I expect to see my truck in my driveway when I leave for work in the morning.
Number four: Why should I have to work anyway? I have a better idea. I want all this stuff and I want to not have to work. I mean, why not? I've lived 46 years without entitlements, it's time all you rich people started paying your fair share and floating my boat some. A boat! Yeah, I want a boat too!
Listen. Food stamps are for survival, not Red Lobster. If you're on food stamps and you want to go to a restaurant, I'm sorry. I'm also sorry I don't have a brand new truck, but as they say, that's life. Suck it up, buttercup. Think of it as motivation. Yeah, I know, here you go: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/motivation
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