I'm crediting this to Ann Coulter (the 23 questions), although I'm not sure she wrote it. I didn't write it, I found it. However, it makes a very strong point. The money and effort being spent by the TSA is lost and wasted if they simply refuse to acknowledge the problem. Saying there is no elephant in the room doesn't actually get rid of the elephant in the room. DHS boss Janet Napolitano has made yet another statement saying we shouldn't necessarily look more closely at young Muslim males [implication being we will instead continue at US airport checkpoints to molest your children and grandmothers in their stead]. She says it's more logical to look at travel patterns and other things. But Janet, is that what you're doing when you check a blonde-haired baby's diaper or have your agents treat law-abiding American citizens with the height of indignity? When you instruct your agents to do things that if any other person in America did them it would be a felony? Anyway. it tells me one thing... Next time I fly, I will seriously consider dressing as an ethnic Muslim and carrying a Qu'ran. I'm beginning to suspect it's the surest way to get through the TSA checkpoints without being bothered.
So there, having said my piece, let's take a look at these rather pertinent multiple-choice questions someone has graciously compiled for us. I bet you're going to get a perfect score...
1. In 1968, Robert Kennedy was assassinated by:
a. Abbe Hoffman
b. Tiny Tim
c. The Chicago Seven
d. A Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40
2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, Israeli athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
a. Olga Corbutt
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwartzeneger
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
3. In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
4. During the 1980s, a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
5. In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A Domino's pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
6. In 1985, the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
7. In 1985, TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:
a. George Washington
b. Benedict Arnold
c. Gold Selleck Silliman
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
8. In March 2004, when a train was detonated in Spain with a series of 10 explosive devices, who was responsible?
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
9. In 1993, the World Trade Center was bombed by an exploding vehicle in the underground parking facility by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
10. In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation to promote its next villain: "Mustapha"
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
11. In 1999, The USS Cole was attacked and more than 15 American Sailors were killed by:
a. David Letterman
b. Shaquille O'Neil
c. The Cookie Monster
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
12. On Sept. 11, 2001, four airliners were hijacked and thousands of people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
13. On Dec. 22, 2001, a failed attempt to destroy a Boeing 767 on American Airlines Flight 63 from Paris to Miami by igniting explosives hidden in his shoes was made by:
a. The Pope
b. Mr. Magoo
c. Barbie and Ken
d. a Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40
14. In 2002, the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
15. In 2002, reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonny and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
16. In 2001, Philippine Missionaries Gracia and Martin Burnham were kidnapped, held for over a year, and Martin subsequently killed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Scooby Doo & Shaggy
c. Ronald Reagan
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
17. On July 4, 2002, two Innocent airline passengers were killed, and three others Injured at the ticket counter of El Al Airlines in the LAX International terminal by:
a. Hulk Hogan after losing the WWF Title
b. The cast of Monty Python
c. Senator Lil' Tommy Daschle
d. A Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40
18. On July 31, 2002, five Americans were killed by a Palestinian HAMAS bomber in Jerusalem while attending school by:
a. The US Congress
b. The tooth fairy
c. The Easter bunny
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
19. On October 12, 2002 more than 200 innocent civilians (including 200 Australians and 5 Americans) were brutally murdered in Bali by:
a. Kermit the Frog & Miss Piggy
b. Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street
c. Charles Barkley
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
20. On October 29, 2002 more than 700 Moscow theater goers were taken hostage and threatened with execution by:
a. Royal Canadian Mounted Police
b. Laurie Dhue of Fox News Channel
c. Peter Jennings of ABC News, pissed because Fox News is kicking his ass
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
21. On July 7, 2005, four bombs were detonated on London's subway and bus system by:
a. Paris Hilton fans
b. Brittany Spears fans
c. Regis Philbin
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
22. On November 6, 2009, 13 people were shot and killed and 38 others were injured in a shooting rampage at Ft. Hood by:
a. Keith Olbermann
b. Martha Stewart
c. J. Paul Getty
d. a Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40
23. Given the patterns set forth in these questions, who should the TSA be profiling in airport searches?
a. Little old ladies
b. Buxom young women
c. Wealthy socialites
d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
ANSWERS:
Questions 1 - 23:
The correct answer is: d. Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40
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